cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
This is the prime rib incident all over again
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
