We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I party with great urgency now.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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