I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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