East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
