We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
