It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I AM VODKA MAN
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
