There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
