I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
be right there i have to get my cape
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
