I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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