GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Less talking, more tequila
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
