eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
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