So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
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