no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
