I'm going to jail i love you
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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