just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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