you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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