shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i may or may not be watching the land before time
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
