4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
