So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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