Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
