A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
That accounts for only three of the penises
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize