your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize