would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
