I think I died a long time ago.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
