genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I need to align my fucking chakras
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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