bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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