dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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