brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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