I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
