I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Randomize
