I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Girls should come with a carfax report
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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