If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Randomize
