My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
