Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
