I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
