Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize