Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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