So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Well I just put wine in my tea
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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