also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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