You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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