I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
