Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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