the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
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