from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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