just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
