Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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