The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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