Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
And then he peed in my hair
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize