No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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