Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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