you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
