Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
