separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
