dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Randomize
