I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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