loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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