"it" just moved
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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