party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
