Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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