So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
