I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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