is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
This is the high leading the old right now
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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