Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
