Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Randomize
