I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
