ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
