your room smells of hookers.
And success
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
