Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
