I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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