she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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