How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Panties = found
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