I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
im holly from the hills drunk
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
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