I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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