honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize