in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
