Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
The power of my boobs compel you
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
