I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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