I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Mom said you looked used
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I need to wash the frat house off of me
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
