DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
